Music Monday: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special

Why don’t I remember watching this as a kid? Was I out trick-or-treating, or did I repress the memory?

The Paul Lynde Halloween Special aired on October 31, 1976. In this clip, Lynde sings special Halloween lyrics to the song “Kids,” which he sang in the 1963 film “Bye Bye Birdie.” Because nothing says “Happy Halloween” more than a gay man singing about how he has candy for children while a bunch of adults in unintentionally creepy costumes dance maniacally around him.

The show featured appearances by anyone who was anyone in the 1970s, including Tim Conway, Betty White (when she was hot the first time around), KISS (bizarrely) and a special cameo by Donny and Marie Osmond. I like how the opening credits bill Roz Kelly as Roz “Pinky Tuscadero” Kelly, using the actor’s character name in quotes between her real name a la the Enquirer, because nobody knew her real name. Lynde also name-checks other topical Seventies people such as movie character Bugsy Malone and shock-rocker Alice Cooper. Veteran actor Margaret Hamilton appears as Lynde’s fictional housekeeper. Hamilton is best remembered for playing the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz, but in the Seventies she achieved new popularity as Cora the Coffee Lady in commercials for Maxwell House.

Have a safe and happy Halloween!


Music Monday: Donny and Marie

In the Seventies, you could find me glued to the television set every Friday night at 8:00, the manual dial turned to Channel 7. That was when The Donny and Marie Show was on. The wholesome, toothy brother and sister singing act and Dancing with the Stars alums had their own variety show that ran on ABC from 1976 to 1979.

My dad at the time worked for a company that manufactured, among other things, tape cassettes. He would bring home the latest album releases. Once he brought home “Layla” by Derek and the Dominoes. I didn’t know who Eric Clapton was back then, and the album didn’t really appeal to a nine-year-old. So I never listened to it. But one day my dad brought home “Songs from the Donny and Marie Show.” It was a couple of weeks before the album was released in stores, and my sister and I were thrilled. It was the best gift my dad ever got us (without my mom’s help or input, that is).

I listened to the album on my portable Radio Shack cassette player. My favorite song was “Deep Purple,” which I played over and over. To play a song over, I had to hit the rewind button and keep stopping the tape until I got it at the right spot at the beginning of the song. If I went too far back then I had to hit the fast forward button, and if I went too far forward I had to hit rewind again. You kids with your iPods don’t know how easy you have it these days.

I also had the Donny and Marie dolls from Mattel. They were like Barbie and Ken but with the faces of Donny and Marie. Marie borrowed the bent arms and microphone in hand from Superstar Barbie. The Donny and Marie dolls’ outfits paid homage to “Deep Purple.”

Variety shows were big in the Seventies, but you don’t see them on t.v. anymore. Sadly, it’s a dead format. Donny and Marie made a brief return to television in 1998 with their own talk show. It was just one of a slew of celebrity talk shows in the Nineties that tried to capitalize on the popularity of shows like Oprah, and it lasted only a couple of years. But this week it was announced that Donny and Marie are coming out with a new album, their first in thirty years. Say what you will about Donny and Marie, but no one can harmonize like those two.

Music Monday: Rex Smith

“Sooner or Later” was a made-for-television movie that was released in 1979. It catapulted singer Rex Smith into an overnight star and spawned the Top-Ten single “You Take My Breath Away.” Rex Smith played Michael, a seventeen-year old (cough!) guitar teacher and object of the affections of thirteen-year-old (cough!) Jessie, played by sixteen-year-old Denise Miller. The cast also featured such notable actors as Barbara Feldon (Agent 99 in Get Smart), Judd Hirsch of the hit television show “Taxi,” Morey Amsterdam (Buddy Sorrell in The Dick Van Dyke Show), and Lynn Redgrave of “Georgy Girl” fame.

In the video above, Jessie waits for Michael to jog past, then joins him as if she’s out jogging too and just happens to run into him. Who wears suspenders and a neckerchief while jogging, I ask? And is it just me, or does Rex Smith run like a girl? His arms flail around as much as his hair does. But hearing this song for the first time in over thirty years, it strikes me that, as hokey and contrived as a manufactured teen idol Top-Forty song can be, it’s pretty nonetheless.

Marie, my best friend in 7th grade (the same friend who owned the Candies that I coveted) loved Rex Smith. She had the book based on the movie, as well as Rex Smith’s album of the same name. That was when albums came in vinyl format, kids.

If Denise Miller looks familiar, you may remember her from “Fish,” the “Barney Miller” spin-off in which Abe Vigoda’s character Detective Fish and his wife Bernice adopted five rowdy foster children. Denise played tough-talking Jily Papalardo. Marie and I referred to her as “the girl from ‘Fish'” because we didn’t know her name. (You may also remember “Victor,” played by John Cassisi, who played “Fat Sam” in the all-child-actors gangster movie Bugsy Malone).

Here’s another clip from the film featuring Jessie jamming with Michael and his band as Michael sings “Simply Jessie.” Jessie makes it look so easy to play the guitar while simultaneously looking adoringly at Michael. Rex Smith is rocking that Andy Gibb/Peter Frampton/Leif Garrett long hair that every late-Seventies rocker dude sported, but Jessie’s hair looks glossy and lustrous too. They both look like they used hot rollers and Breck shampoo.

Many thanks to Mary on Facebook who posted about this movie and brought back so many memories.